losing

Every time I go to put food in my mouth I just keep telling myself that I am going to be the fastest girl on the cruise. In fact I might be the reason the ship sinks because it won't be able to support my fat ass.

Yesterday I only had 520 Cals and today I had around 900. Way on the high side today but I also ran 5 miles so I'm not too worried about it. My stomach is also growling right now so I guess I didn't do too much damage.

I'm starting to hear that ana voice in my head again. Whenever I go to take a bite of food I hear "sure you wanna eat that fat ass" or today for example I had 5 French fries at work (it was my breakfast and lunch) and then when I was at the gym running the voice kept saying "oh yea you wanna stop? maybe you shouldn't have eaten those fries blubber butt"

Well at least this morning I was down to 118 lbs. I hope I still lose tomorrow even though I ate those fries. I know its water weight but it still feels so good when you look down and see a lower number then yesterday. Anyway starve on my loves.

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